


Hook, Line, and Sinker

by adolescentGambino (childishGambino)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Black Romance, Bloodplay, Caliginous Romance | Kismesis, F/F, FANFICCEPTION, Fan Contribution, Fanfiction of a Fanfiction, Herding Cats, Rare Pairing, THE FANFIC IS COLLAPSING
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-07
Updated: 2012-11-07
Packaged: 2017-11-18 04:25:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/556879
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/childishGambino/pseuds/adolescentGambino
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After no longer being able to deny her true feelings, Kanaya prepares for her first hate date with Feferi. But the night doesn't go exactly as she planned...</p><p>(A Herding Cats fanwork)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hook, Line, and Sinker

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Herding Cats](https://archiveofourown.org/works/349720) by [childishGambino](https://archiveofourown.org/users/childishGambino/pseuds/childishGambino). 



> I did not write this! It was written by an individual who would prefer to be addressed as Anon-H. Lacking an AO3 account or any other way of broadcasting this excellent piece of fiction to the world at large, he or she submitted it to me, and I present it to you on his or her behalf, largely without editing. Enjoy!
> 
> (Disclaimer: This work and the events that take place therein do not necessarily align with the Herding Cats canon (more like buttcanon (lmao)).)

It was not your typical kismesitude.

It was not as violent as the world scorching relation between Vriska and Sollux or as hateful as Equius and Gamzee. They didn’t rush into their black throes like Nepeta and Eridan or throw around grievous insults by way of foreplay like Terezi and Karkat. They were competitive like Tavros and Aradia but more controlled, more sophisticated. Even after their rivalry had been revealed to be largely orchestrated by Vriska, the black stabs at each other simply hadn’t stopped.

When Feferi felt forced to step in and auspitize between Vriska and Aradia, Kanaya simply could not contain herself any longer and said some things she certainly wasn’t proud off. She would have denied ever saying them if it wasn’t on a public memo for everyone to see just how pitch she had become for the empress to be. It did however finally start their relation in earnest.

Kanaya wanted to proof Feferi that she was the better troll and that the black flirtations of the sea dweller did nothing to phase her. She would have loved to keep Feferi and Vriska as far away from each other as possible, but since they entered the ashen quadrant this had become impossible and somehow the heiress had managed to become even more insufferable as a result.

Feferi on the other hand was sick and tired of Kanaya’s better-than-thou attitude towards her and was determined to show that not only she could carry herself with the same dignity as the jadeblood, but that Kanaya really wants nothing more than to sink down to her level. 

What followed was a long passive aggressive battle of false compliments and subtle insults that continued well into their second date

***

Kanaya was waiting patiently in her hive, atop a pile of multicolored cloth. She had been expecting Feferi. The heiress was exactly 12 minutes to late, no doubt purely to annoy her, but Kanaya refused to award her any points for being tardy. Almost uncharacteristically Feferi carried herself with dignity befitting an empress as she walked over to Kanaya.

“Miss Peixes.” Kanaya said by way of greeting.

“Kanaya.” Feferi said with a gentle nod.

“You are late.” Kanaya stated while standing up. She stood slightly taller than the sea dweller and used the opportunity to look down on her ever so slightly. A subtle gesture of dominance that was completely lost to her kismesis.

“I couldn’t kelp it.” Feferi grinned, unable to resist the pun.”Your matesprit makes auspiticing ever so difficult.”

“I’m sure it’s a difficult task for a less…..experienced mediator such as yourself.” Kanaya said trying to sound nonchalant as she walked to a mannequin. She smirked mentally awarding herself the first point in their verbal fencing match.

“I am sure I’ll manage.” Feferi responded on a mocking sugar sweet tone.”Vriska is surprisingly…….obedient if you push the right buttons.”

Kanaya did not cringe no matter what Feferi thought she saw. The fear of Feferi seducing Vriska had subsided since they both entered the ashen quadrant with Aradia but the mental image still made her incredibly uncomfortable. Point for Peixes.

“I am glad to hear your ashen situation is under control then.” Kanaya said carefully annunciating each and every word. She took the dress she worked on for the past 2 days from the mannequin and folded it neatly before handing it to Feferi.

“You could say it’s going…..swimmingly.” Feferi snickered at her own stupid pun before collecting herself and standing tall and regal again. Kanaya pinched the bridge of her nose, refusing to mentally award points for terrible puns. In fact, she was very tempted to subtract her point.

“Just go and change please miss Peixes.” Kanaya sighed.”You may use my ablutionblock or—“

Before Kanaya could finish her sentence Feferi was already halfway in the process of taking her clothes off. Her eyes lingered just a little too long on her breasts and she could practically feel Feferi’s smug smirk. Feferi was a little chubby but her breasts were probably the biggest of all remaining trolls and Kanaya couldn’t help but appreciate the sight of them. She failed miserably to hide her jade blush and she felt her mouth go dry as she cast her eyes further down Feferi’s body observing her legs and…..

“Second point for miss Peixes…..” she thought regaining her composure just a second too late. Feferi decided to only give a infuriating knowing smirk before focusing on the dress her kismesis had made her; A beautiful purple dress made from the best fabrics Kanaya could alchemize. She had carefully embroidered gold colored patterns on it and it bore a small pisces symbol on the waist.

Kanaya stood back with her arms over her chest and chuckled softly as Feferi tried to get into her dress. It seemed to be a tight fit for the slightly chubby heiress.

Probably because Kanaya made it that way.

“I believe you have gained some weight since I’ve last taken your measurements.” Kanaya stated casually. She already mentally rewarded herself a point for setting her up. To Feferi’s credit however, she didn’t lose her cool at all.

“Actually, I bereef this dress is simply smaller than all my other clothes.” Feferi stated with just a hint of annoyance as she finally put it on. Her fins twitched slightly as she looked at Kanaya, her eyes unable to hide her anger but a smug smirk on her face. “But I suppose a poorly made dress is all I shoald have expected of you.”

Kanaya bit her lip in anger. Feferi had evened the score again by directly attacking the one thing she prided herself on. The heiress was such a uniquely infuriating person to actually draw black feelings out of her. Kanaya wanted to just take Feferi down, tear off the dress she painstakingly made, push her up against the wall, bite her large breasts and see if she’d cry of pleasure or pain first.

Instead of doing all those things, she composed herself again and looked at her kismesis again. The dress accentuated Feferi’s chest beautifully and of course, the color suited her really well.

“I suppose a good dress can make even you look decent.” Kanaya said pondering. She could have left one or two needles in by “accident” but it would have given Feferi more reason to discredit her professionalism.

Feferi frowned.”It would have been betta if you had gotten a little more crayative.”

Kanaya could only raise a surprised eyebrow.”Pardon?” To her dismay Feferi uncaptchalogued her trident.”You wouldn’t dare!” she hissed, almost surprised with the venom dripping from her voice.

Feferi began to clumsily tear the dress apart with her trident to free up her legs and arms some more. With every rip and shred Kanaya cringed and Feferi began raking into the points. Her score system was a moot point now; The sea dweller had dealt a critical blow.

“SEEEEEA?” Feferi laughed, shaking her arms and legs a little to enjoy the freedom of movement the remains of her dress offered. She looked at herself in the mirror. Where Kanaya only saw a heiress in rags, Feferi lightened up when she saw her reflection.

“I reelly pike it like this.” She said with a big smile.

“Yes I suppose…..you would appreciate those rags better.” Kanaya mumbled giving herself half a point for a half hearted burn.

Feferi smirked and took a few steps towards the still slightly shaken Kanaya. ”Lighten up a little, Kanayellow Perch. It’s just a dress.”

Kanaya groaned and stood with her back straight again.”You just tore apart a beautiful handcrafted dress and to add insult to injury you follow it up with the most excruciatingly bad pun I ever heard you utter.” She growled.

“Do you……bait it?” Feferi said softly. She was leaning closer to Kanaya.

“I ‘bait’ it very much.” Kanaya answered in a whisper. She could almost count the freckles on Feferi’s face.

Before she could react, Feferi sank her teeth in Kanaya’s neck. She gasped in pain and grabbed a handful of hair to yank her of her neck. Feferi just smirked, a few beads of jade blood visible on her lips.

“You are so…insufferable…..immature…..” Kanaya growled pulling Feferi’s head back further. Her neck was completely unprotected and yet she was smirking. It somehow only made her more angry. With a quick swipe with her trident, Feferi broke Kanaya’s grip on her hair and pushed her up against the wall.

Kanaya’s hand instinctively went for the hair again and she pulled Feferi into a kiss. Rough, painful, but certainly not unpleasant. The skin of the sea dweller felt cold, but in a way that made her think of daydwellers of a mythological persuasion rather than fish. The kiss went on just a little longer then comfortable, and their lips were stained with jade and tyrian.

The two of them panted and locked eyes for longer than either of them bothered to count.

***

arachnidsGrip [AG] began trolling grimAuxiliatrix [GA].  
  
AG: Aaaaaaaand?  
AG: Don’t leave me hanging Kanayaaaaaaaa  
GA: Well She Left  
GA: She Was Going To Visit Equius  
AG: W8 just like that!!!!!!!!  
AG: I never knew Peixes was such a 8loody tease……..  
GA: I Was Actually Quite Okay With It  
GA: I Am Not Completely Used To The Black Quadrant So I Appreciate That We Take It A Little Slower And Don’t Immediately Burn Down A Planet.  
GA: I Had Never Expected It To Feel So  
GA: Good  
AG: Hahahahahahahaha  
AG: yeeeeeeees <3  
GA: Vriska No  
GA: You Do Not Have My Permission To Fantasize About Me And Miss Peixes In Passionate Kismetic Throes  
AG: 8luh!!!!!!!!  
AG: It’s totally hot and you know it.  
GA: Vriska Please  
GA: I Am Still Getting Used To The Idea Of Feferi Being So Incredibly Obnoxious  
GA: Yet I Find Myself Being Drawn To It  
GA: She A Uniquely Infuriating Individual And I Admit  
GA: She Is Not Unattractive.  
AG: I knoooooooow. Have you seen those 8roo8s?  
AG: I mean damn. You could fall asleep on those puppies.  
AG: I can’t 8elieve you haven’t tapped that yet.  
AG: Still, my win I guess.  
GA: That Is An Awfully Odd Thing To Say And Yes  
GA: I Suppose We Are Still Getting Used To Each Other.  
GA: I Didn’t have Three Sweeps Worth Of Foreplay With Her.  
AG: Yeah, I suppoooooooose that’s fair 8ut……..  
AG: I will tell her aaaaaaall a8out your weakspot next session with Aradia.  
GA: You Shall Do No Such Thing.  
GA: Come To Think Of It You Probably Told Her To Bite My Neck Too.  
AG: Actually I didn’t. Props for Peixes for figuring that out.  
AG: Then again, it was a preeeeeeeetty o8vious thing to do.  
AG: Your earlo8es on the other haaaaaaaand……..  
GA: You Will Not Tell Her Or So Help Me  
GA: I Will Restrain You As Soon As You And Miss Megido Schedule Another Session  
AG: Kanaya  
AG: You know I don’t mind the restraints ;;;;)  
GA: Ugh You Are Truly Incorrigible  
AG: <3  
GA: <3  


***

twinArmageddons [TA] began trolling cuttlefishCuller [CC].  
  
TA: ff  
TA: ff  
TA: for the love of god ff, don’t leave a guy hangiing.  
CC: )(----EY  
CC: Water you up to?  
TA: well 2hiit ff, ii 2hould be a2kiing that.  
TA: how diid iit go?  
CC: It went fin, I t)(ink.  
TA: you thiink?  
CC: W)(ale you minnow...  
CC: I N-EV-ER expected to become black for Kanaya.  
CC: And I t)(ink s)(e never –EXP-ECT-ED it –EIT)(-ER  
CC: It’s all so N-EW and –EXCITING  
TA: ok yeah ii can kiinda 2ee where you are commiing from.  
TA: ii mean iit doe2 2eem liike a weiird paiir up, but there are genuiine black feeliing2 iinvolved right?  
CC: OF )(ORS-E  
CC: U)(m, of COURS-E  
CC: You s)(oald )(AV-E S-E-EN )(-ER FAC-E W)(-EN I TOR-E MY DR-ESS UP  
CC: It was R---E-ELLY GR-EAT  
CC: And Vrisquid was rig)(t; S)(--E’S A GR—EAT KISS-ER  
TA: wow you are gettiing way to exciited there.  
TA: al2o you are 2pendiing too much tiime wiith eq.  
TA: now come on, giive me detaiil2. The juiicy one2.  
CC: We didn’t go furt)(er then that you perv 38P  
CC: )(OW—EV—ER……….  
TA: ye2?  
CC: I did undress for H—ER  
TA: wow niice. ky went for it hook liine and 2iinker ii iimagiine?  
CC: GLUB 38)  
CC: Acs)(elly she didn’t.  
TA: What really? 2hiit.  
CC: H—ER expression was FINTASTIC t)(oug)(  
CC: And it’s no big D—EAL. We are taking it slowly.  
TA: Your lo22 ii gue22. A2 well a2 miine.  
CC: )(ow is t)(is your loss?  
CC: UNL--ESS you wanted to TAP—E US.  
TA: Plea2e would ii 2teep 2o low a2 to tape my moiiraiil iin kiismetiic action?  
CC: Y------ES  
TA: hehe ok ye2 ii totally would.  
CC: T)(en w)(at was it.  
TA: ……you can’t get mad alriight?  
CC: Is it as bad as )(aving our exploits on tape?  
TA: no no, not at all.  
TA: and ju2t waiit. 2ooner or later you’ll a2k me to tape iit, ju2t two pii22 of ky.  
CC: I S)(HORE AS S)(--ELL DOUBT IT.  
CC: and fine, I won’t be mad.  
TA: Well…….  
TA: ii had a bet wiith vk on whether or not you two would finally put out.  
TA: ii owe her 88 boonbuck2 now ii gue22  
CC: …..You AR-E just TH-E worst.  
TA: you know me. Ii have a reputatiion to maiintaiin.  
CC: You are suc)( a doofis)(  
CC: I admit though……I would shore as shell like to sea more of her.  
CC: S)(e tries to stay composed but s)(e is acs)(elly very ruff  
CC: And s)(e )(as a reelly nice butt under t)(at stupid skirt.  
TA: Hahaha wow ff. me, vk and aa are a terriible influence.  
TA: what happened to the iinnocent heiire22 ii became pale for.  
CC: O)( S)(OOS)(  
TA: 2o you goiing to jump her or what?  
CC: WHAL--E if I –E—EL comfortable and S)(--E lightens up a LITTL—E.  
TA: that 2ound2 liike the be2t plan ever  
TA: clearly you have thii2 under control  
CC: Oh QUI—ET you. It’s a work in PROGR—ESS  
TA: hehe love you two ff  
CC: T)(anks Solfis)(  
CC: <>  
TA: <>


End file.
